So yearly updates?

LOL, yeah so keeping up here hasn't really happened as I'd like but, whatever. I write enough stuff down elsewhere and that's fine. So....many things happened as they usually do...so nutshell it all, John and I are still fine, his mother (and sister now) still dislike me as they have discovered that their refusal to do so, despite having given them many chances to get their crap together, has now led to the removal of any sort of filter I even vaguely had in the first place, and now I just flat out tell them how shit will be. His sister found that out recently with the attempting to TELL ME that her mother was going to come over here for a dinner *I* was hosting in *MY* home and cooking for for his Father and Stepmother. She was worried that her mom would "feel all left out" if she didn't come. I said "Well...if she didn't want to be left out of things, perhaps she should not have divorced him 20+ years ago". And that was the opening shot. It went about as well as expected after that. And she did not come to dinner. Which as she was not invited by anyone that actually LIVES in this house, is fine. Of course neither did his sister, but that was because she had some emergency come up with her husband back up where they live.He's a recovering alcoholic so she had to go. But I suspect she'd have not come over herself even if he had been fine. Eh, that's ok by me. I'll have to write a post just about his familial stupidity I suppose. It's amusing, and informative, in a way. I have, in looking back over this year, realized that while no has always been a part of my vocabulary, it's a much bigger part now. I just do not have the time to deal with this bullshit. Or anyone's really. My own included. It's led to a pruning of branches, as it were, both socially and work wise. Which isn't to say I've cut people out, I haven't, but I have learned to just say "Huh" and brush it off, especially in situations where folks are constantly doing the same thing that leads to the same results that they are constantly complaining about, over and over. Case in point, a niece of mine is forever griping about having no money. I said well, either move to a cheaper place, cut out your other nonsense spending, or get a part time and/or better paying job. "I hate moving." Yes I get that but do you love paying 1500 a month on something you will never own? Why not pay less on that, look here's a house for 950. "Oh, it's not my standards." See the thing is that it's great to have standards, it is, I have them myself, but when those standards are causing you ruin, perhaps you should think about changing them up a tad. And to be fair, the places I've shown her are not shit holes. I get she wants what she wants but she wants it NOW and to not have to work up to it, and frankly that's not really how it works. Same thing with her fun spending. A trip here, a trip there, the beach, the mountains, she wants to go to Italy again, craft shows everywhere, going at least once or twice a month. I said look, cutting that crap down for a year will help you get out of debt and be able to afford a house ( not to mention the college tuition her eldest is going to need in a year) and I hear " I JUST WANT TO HAVE A LIFE" You already *have* a life. It's a single mother with two kids and limited means. But now, when she complains about being broke I just say Huh and go on. I can't make her do anything, she's going to do what she wants, and if she can't listen to advice that has been given to her by numerous people over the years well....I can't help that. But I don't have to get sucked into it. Another friend does the same thing. It's always how bad her job is, how she hates it how it's just terrible and I say well, get a different job. "I need one that pays" Yes, you do. Have you actually LOOKED for one tho? Or have you thought about spending less on nonsense so you can do more with less income if you need to? Like, do you NEED to buy that pretty thing when you know you've been talking about painting your house for years? You do? Huh. Ok.

This all makes it sound like I've become this horrible person, and maybe I have. I dunno. I am trying to make changes tho to make my life go a bit easier, so........ if that makes me horrible, I guess it does.

Speaking of changes, I've cut out pet sitting. That's probably the biggest change in the past year. I think so at least. I'll have to think about it and maybe make another post ( in less than years time this time)but I'd have to say that's the biggest thing. It's kind of funny, should you quit a job because it's too successful? Is that a thing? I guess it depends on your definition of success. As I said to my clients, it wasn't about the money, tho getting paid more would have helped out tremendously, sure, but it was about the time. I would have *months* where I would literally have 1 day off the entire month. And sometimes it was at the very beginning and end of the contiguous months, so essentially I"d work 2 months straight with no days off. Every day in a car driving somewhere, having to BE somewhere. And even my closest client caused me to burn thru at least 3.5 hours a day with pets so even if I was *just* going to their house, the day was just shot. I spent a lot of time thinking about this and a lot of time prepping folks, like almost a year, actually, now that I think about it.....telling them, you need to get back up sitters, you have to do that, I am going to have days where I can't work, I am going to have to eventually start to limit myself...and, as long as they thought they could get me, they never bothered with finding alternates. So, I helped them with that reluctance and quit. A couple of them thought it was just so sudden and I had to laugh, because in reality I am not a "sudden" person. I never have been no matter how it looks. Yes, once I decide to take an action, that *action* happens VERY swiftly. (no need to drag things out, right?) but the lead up to the decision of said action usually takes a LONG while as I am thinking, evaluating, planning. But, even if it was sudden, it's no matter. It was a thing i Had to do, for me and for John. I was getting tired of not having time to see him. Not being able to DO any couple things, no trips, day or weekend, no time to work on our house, or the garden....and now that's all changed. Today is my last day of it actually, and it's so odd. I'll still have house cleaning of course, but that will be during the week. Now I'll have at least 2 days a week off every week. Kinda like real people, lol. But, I think this will be a good change, for me at least, and folks will realize what pet sitters actually cost and that may help them with a little more understanding as to why I walked away. Or not. People do what they do.

As for garden stuff (cause really that's the most interesting thing here) I have my three beds in (two wee and one larger one) and the groundwork is started on two more large ones. I'm doing a combo means of building them so it'll be interesting to see how they all turn out. The cucumbers seem to love the front yard, but the tomatoes love the area next to the green house. That has to get fixed too, the wiring is messed up in it so the entire frame goes live when the power is on.....and that's not....right. So, Another reason to have more time. Plus I think I"ll have actually given myself a raise by not driving as much, so will be able to afford the things we need to fix that. Even with the Fit it's still not that cheap driving all over. I wasn't able to get the trees I wanted this spring ( that time thing) but this fall I am going to. There's an area that I think will make a nice base for about 10/12 dwarf/mid sized fruit trees to make a screen next to the neighbors as well as a good anchor point for what I hope will one day be a food forest of sorts. We don't have a lot of land to work with really , 1 acre vs the 18 + I grew up with, but there's a LOT you can do with just one acre. It'll also be good practice since as it stands now, when my mother and brother finally pass that land goes to me. So, I'll either have to sell it, OR figure out a way to make it work for me. That's not going to be for a long time tho so....best to practice here :) I'm look at 2 each of apple, pear ( the really old one we have isn't going to last forever), cherry, plum, apricot and possibly pawpaw if I can find the stupid things before they sell out. Pretty basic choices there but it'll work for now. I know these things grow well here in this zone so I can work on pushing other plants later. I also want to get bush filberts and chestnuts if they will do here. They should I think. Olive and pomegranate are on the list as well for the future, but I need to figure out the right places for them first. Fall will be busy I think. Speaking of, off to finish up my last and first day :D Then less with that kind of busy and more with the other, better kind :D